just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize