we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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