I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
PANTIES FOUND
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