u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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