i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
