Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
