Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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