before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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