I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize