Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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