god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
