He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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