this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
