All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
