I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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