is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
