Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize