no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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