Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
