in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
