Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
