its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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