It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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