shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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