well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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