He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
