seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
