I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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