Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
