According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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