so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
