Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
