If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
