that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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