It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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