We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize