Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
