I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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