Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
