You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
