Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
