I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
