Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He has the fingertips of a God
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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