In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
