What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize