it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
