Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
