i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
