3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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