Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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