Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
