he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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