I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize