he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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