My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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