Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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