weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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