Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize