I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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