did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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